The past 11 hours has really been filled with some serious contemplation. I’m at a conflict in my life right now.
Just to be frank, I’m getting tired of SWU. I feel like a loner there. I don’t know if it is because I am a commuter or what, but I just feel that I don’t have any true friends there. To me, the term “friend” is used loosely these days, so let me explain. When I say friend, I mean someone you talk to all the time, spend a lot of time with/want to spend a lot of time with, etc. I just don’t feel like I have that at SWU.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of “acquaintances”. We talk in class or if we pass each other on campus, but we don’t really know anything about each other. We haven’t penetrated the level of closeness and vulnerability that is needed for a true friendship to start. Because of this, I feel fairly alone on campus. This feeling has effected everything this semester. It is showing in my drop in grades and overall discipline, and I feel like it is even starting to bring down my personality a bit.
Saying all of that, there ARE some good things about SWU. The people are extremely friendly, even if I don’t know them well and some of the professors are just top notch people. At the top of that list is my Communications professor, Dr. Creasman. This man is a great teacher, a great person, and we have really made a connection in the two years that I have been there.
This all leads me to really the main point of this conflict. This whole perspective on SWU has me contemplating a transfer to Clemson in the fall.
No, I don’t think a transfer to Clemson will automatically solve all of my problems. Yes, I might be getting in over my head with this. But something right now is whispering in my ear that this is something that I need to try. It definitely worries me that I could go through with the transfer and just totally bomb at Clemson. Clemson is definitely a lot stricter when it comes to the academics, where, at least in my experience, SWU is fairly laid back. It also worries me that I could simply be making a huge mistake.
This could be something that could change my life for the better.
This could be something that could change my life for the worse.
But this IS something that will change my life. Period.
I just ask for prayers as I make this decision, that God will guide me to the decision that He sees best for my life.